I matter.
These were the first four words written in my NSLC notebook given to me on the first day of the service trip. It was out first day there. The 66 of us had barely settled ourselves into our one, long room before they called us all down to meet our spiritual guide for the week: Robert Leigh Pruitt II. He quieted the group of us down and instructed us to write "I matter" in our notebooks. Across from my carefully scripted "February 17th, 2011," I fit neatly into the lines of the paper "I matter". Small and puny, those two words looked insignificant on the page. Those words certainly didn't look like they mattered. Pru knew that I hadn't meant what I wrote; I was simply obeying. He instructed us again: "Write 'I matter' on your page, like you mean it!" This time i scrawled, in obnoxious, messy letters, all the way across my page. I didn't believe it yet, but I'd learn to over the next 5 days.
Each day Mr. Pruitt gave us a lesson, usually including a "word of the day" and other random, inspirational things. I also kept a kind of journal so I didn't forget the important stuff. I'm including it all below, along with some new thoughts.
Day 1: February 17th, 2011
Assess: to evaluate or become informed
Think: What do others need??
Start by serving others
Thoughts
Emotions
Actions
Results
This one's a pretty simple one. To assess is to figure out if there's a problem. Can't solve a problem if you don't realize there is one. Find a problem, and prepare to fix it.
Day 2: February 18th, 2011
Develop: to unfold in detail or to bring out the possibility of, or to come into being; manifest
Ask:
How many?
By when? (involves trust, patience)
Given to whom?
These questions will help to take the haphazardness out of how you serve. To develop is to figure out the HOW you will serve. One of my observations from his lecture were the words "There has to be something bigger than you!" What a great motto for life. There has to be something greater than you. One of the essential tenants of service is realizing that some things are more important than yourself. On days where we planted thousands of trees to restore the wetlands of New Orleans, it didn't matter whether my hair was straightened, or whether the attractive boy liked me. None of the little things mattered to anyone when we planted those trees.
February 18th, 2011, 9AM
"It's so nice to be home. Sure, this place is kind of run down and something I'd usually throw a fit over. But I'm with my family, so this is home. It's both like we never left and like we're closer than ever.
I'm pleasantly surprised with my TA group. I think (unbiasedly) that our TA may be the coolest and our group the chillest." This held very, very true throughout the trip. My TA group was amazing and my family only became closer.
"The airport yesterday was memorable. Kimmy and Carolyne tackled me in a hug as soon as I came down the escalator. We soon connected with Mike, and we were reunited. It's a wonderful feeling, being part of a group. While everyone else was scared and alone I was with my best friends and couldn't be happier.
Our rooms are old classrooms with the walls knowcked out so they form one loooong room. There are like 15 bunks in each room, like 5 or 6 rooms total. All the NSLC Advanced Med kids are in a room nearly by themselves. "
I got to wake everyone up this morning, and I really enjoyed it. I'll always like mothering people."
It's true. One of my favorite things about the trip was being able to get my girls up in the morning :) It's nice, feeling needed.
Later that day, notes from a session with Robert Pruitt
6:30pm: "Today was one of the hardest days of my life, physically. We worked under the scorching sun for 7 hours planting trees."
6:45pm: "Love is having someone be exceptional out of the difference I make in their lives."- A quote Robert shared with us. How moving...
"Service is NOT something outside of yourself." So true. Service is about yourself. Why? Because I matter.
At 7:30 we had an assignment. We had to create a human machine. In our lives, just like in this assignment, every part affects the whole.
The rules?
1) 22 people
2) one machine
3) all people must touch
4) the machine must make noise
5) 2 people must be blindfolded
6) 2 people must be mute
7) 2 people must be standing on one foot
8) the people standing on one foot cannot tough
9) you must use the item given to you. Our item? A frisbee
I won't write about the actual exercise, , because it went as expected, but it taught us all a valuable lesson in working together.
Back to the notes I was taking:
8:30pm: "Create the habit! Show up as a 10 friend- trust without expectation." Examine your life. Who in your life is blind to you? Who in your life is mute to you? Who are the people that have no voice in your life? Give them a voice. Let them speak.
10:10 pm: "So physically and emotionally drained. Why do we plant trees?
Trees create a barrier for massive hurricane waves. Trees like the ones we planted break the waves and cause them to dissipate. For every 3 miles of trees planted, the storm surge wave drops 1 foot."
February 19th, 2011
Implement: to carry out or put into practice
Before you implement, set an intention.- This lesson was valuable to me. Robert Pruitt encouraged us all to wake up every day and set a heartfelt intention for ourselves. I've started to do it and seen remarkable results.
Tool for implementing: incomplete cycles of action
1) release the committment
2) renegotioate
3) complete or honor your commitment
Now this, this is how you truly implement. Set an intention, don't just carry out an action!
February 20th. 2011
7:50am
Evaluate: to appraise or to value
Make this day SO real (surreal).
7:10pm
"Too busy/exhausted to write often. The devastation is still so apparent 5 years later. There's a level of emotional maturity present in all the people that only comes from going through something as traumatic as a hurricane, I guess. People we met today: the people at the marina place. The rugged looking guy was so thankful. He taught me how to fish, and gave me a kiss on the hand- not some superficial thing, but a real, deep, thank-you. Ronnie, an old black guy who seemed like some kind of helper there, gave me a huge, loving hug. These people are SO thankful. Then we met Robert Green, a man who had lost everything. He was dressed casually and missing many teeth, but that man has a gift." He had the gift of telling his story. Him and his family sat helplessly on the roof of their house as it became detached from its foundation and floated down the street in 20 feet of water. The broken levee caused the water to rise so fast- a foot every 10 minutes. He tried to put his 3 year old granddaughter on a roof of a stable house, but instead watched her disappear into the swirling limbo of that horrible water. Can you even imagine that? This man watched his baby granddaughter disappear from OUT OF HIS ARMS and lived to tell about it. He was an inspiration to us all. Pru told us something I'll try not to forget this day: These people don't want a handout. They want a hand UP.
February 21st
10:30am
"Swamp tour!"
February 22nd, 2011
5pm, Chicago O'Hare Aiport
"French quarter was fun, but generally unremarkable except for the other bus getting stuck and a drunk guy giving Matt beer (that was funny as hell). Jack and Sarah are my favorite people/couple EVER.
Pru has helped us all realized that there is something bigger than all of us, and by focusing on the big picture we can achieve a true utopia. But sometimes it's the specifics that really make a person happy. These were some of my favorite moments of the trip:
1) tackling Grace and Kirsten as soon as they got out of their van
2) us three snuggling in Grace's bed every night
3) Spending time with Kimmy at the airport before our flights left
4)Layover with Jewelz!! So glad to have her with me
5) EVERYTHING about the last night ;)
6) sitting in grace's lap cuddling during the speeches on the last night
7) cooking the most delicious dinner
8) dyadic encounter with Alec
I really do feel like I've been changed significantly in such a short time. During this weekend, I did work and i LIKED it. It is my heartfelt intention to love spontaneously with a happy heart and to not get caught up in the little things. This weekend I not only did a service to the people of NOLA, but to my peers and to myself. It is really powerful and difficult to express, but something's changed. I'm just gonna try not to get caught up in school and home and try to live my life the NSLC way- spontaneously, selflessly, lovingly, dedicatedly, and with no regrets.
The last night definitely deserves to be written about. Probably even more memorable than my last night of Advanced Med, which is saying something. After out "What I've Learned/Who I've Met" experience, everyone piled mattresses in the hall for some group bonding. Me, Grace, Kirsten, Matt, Sarah, jack, Momo, Eleni, Ben, Harley, Derek, Rafael, Sabrina, Danielle, Jeremy, and random others who joined us. Grace performed the tasteful hate rap Matt wrote about me; everyone laughed. At 12, the TAs chased us into our rooms far too early. But our night was faaaar from over. We texted the boys and agreed to meet. But Grace, Momo, and Eleni fell asleep by 2! Kirsten was half asleep/half awake, but not feeling well. So Sarah and I snuck out to meet Jack and Ben. So Sarah and I walk down the stairs, and through the window see Adrian sitting on the bench outside the bathrooms. Weird. So we instantly freaked out and ducked into the inside bathrooms to reevaluate our plan. We decided Adrain posed very little threat, and were about to head outside when we heard flip flops cracking as someone ran down the concrete steps. Worried it was a TA, Sarah and I hurried back into the bathroom stalls to look innocent. But in ran Kirsten, looking a mess after puking on her way down the stairs. She shut herself in a stall to heave some more. After making sure she was okay, Sarah and I went out to survey the damage. There was vomit EVERYWHERE. She started throwing up at the top of the stairs, continued running down the stairs, threw up some more, and finally made it to the bathroom. Sarah and I rushed to the outside boys bathroom, where the boys were waiting for us, to ask for help cleaning it up. Matt was in there too, which was weird. They came out to help, and James and Aaron appeared too. After cleaning it all we went outside to talk. This was roughly 2:45 am. Eventually Aaron, James, and Adrian disappeared and it was just us 6. We all kinda separated, having our own conversations. Jack and Sarah were GOING at it. If they weren't such amazing people I would have been very grossed out. Matt and Kirsten kinda made of me the whole time; I didn't really understand it. But I sat and talked to the gorgeous boy beside me. I was initially attracted to his "swagger" and things only got better from there ;) Raised in New Zealand, British mother, living in the Hamptons. Ben was beautiful. and perfect. He did his New Zealand accent and I melted. Unfortunately, I don't think he was as interested in me as I was with him. If only I didn't have to put out to get guys to like me...."
And that was the last post of my trip. It took me forever, but I got it all out. I'll post later with the lessons I've taken from it, and my future plans for service
-Courteny
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