So this is the first of at least 3 or 4 posts, and probably the least in-depth. It was just a thought that passed through my mind that I wanted to jot down really quick.
I got home from school today, tired and lonely. I miss the constant, vital rumble of living with 70 others. I didn't walk in the door til way after 9, and was already ready for bed. So I stumbled downstairs and into my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I peered into my mirror, distraught that my sunburn was beginning to peel.
I remember the feeling of receiving that sun. Out in the wetlands, surrounded by my best friends, and realizing how good I had it. After months of freezing temperatures, the enveloping warmth was a welcome friend. But soon I had to leave the sun. Board the bus, head back to Camp Hope. Like taking in that sun, the trip, too, was enjoyable, comforting, and over all too soon.
And then came the sunburn. Sharp and stinging, the sunburn was a distinct but very constant pain. Somehow I had managed to burn nearly all of my body. Face, arms, legs, neck. It kept me up at night; I couldn't stop thinking about it. I think about my goodbyes to my family I left at Camp Hope. The embraces you held on to just a little too long, the tearful "see you soons." I remember the initial loneliness of being on a plane, by myself for the first time in six days. Like my stinging skin, those goodbyes were sharply painful.
And then I started to peel. Unsightly, it made me want to shrink into my own skin. Lotion up as I might, I was going to peel anyways. The old, damaged skin had to fall away before the new, pure skin could take its place. The first few days back at home were tough. I felt very isolated, and had a hard time focusing back onto the "little picture" stuff (homework, chores, etc), after focusing on the "big picture" so devotedly. But my everyday life seemed a little different now. Same actions, different intention. I reminded myself to be a 10 friend at all times and I was a little kinder. I reminded myself to use my gifts to help others and I bought my friends dinner. My life has been forever changed. Like my rejuvenating skin, my life had undergone its own change, and that was beginning to manifest itself.
And soon, the burn will fade and turn to a mellow tan. The pain of the damage will no longer be felt, and instead, I will be left feeling beautiful. Rather than lament the pain of my previous burn, I will look forward to getting more sun and improving my tan. And in this way, I will learn and grow from my experiences this past weekend. The lessons I've learned and the good I've gained will forever remain, and instead of living in the past and constantly thinking about the trip, I can focus my energy into planning the next one. Like my newly tanned skin, already eager for more sun, my life has been changed.
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