I Love Being A Big Sister :)

To me, she was beautiful. Her unkempt blonde hair gave her an innocent, playful look that could only be acquired from hours of relentless play. Her teeth were straight and pearly, as all baby teeth are, and they beamed life, energy, and adoration to all who received her smile.

That day, she clung to me, wailing her devastated cries into my shirt, my inviting shoulder, my soothing arms, anything to comfort her. She grasped at my hands, my hair, and finally decided the best way to keep me from leaving was to wrap her arms around my torso. The idea of facing a summer full of lonely Wednesdays tortured her.  As I cradled her golden head, I was touched. In that moment, I realized that Payton’s inconsolable cries were only a demonstration of the strength of her love for me.  This charming little girl with her shining smile had chosen me to smother in her affection. I valued every secret, every game of Mother May I?, and every hug Payton chose to share with me. I appreciated her not just because she was a child, but because she was my child, my Little Sister.

I had just completed my first semester as Payton’s Big Sister, a volunteer program through the Boys and Girls Club. That Wednesday in mid-April was the last of the semester, the last time Payton would spend time with me before I returned the following fall. Throughout the previous nine weeks a bond was initiated that would only strengthen through the next three years.

Wednesday evenings, as we read Dr. Seuss stories together, we both discovered our talents. From our hours of reading Payton discovered her love of books, and became an avid reader. I, however, learned something far less tangible. My time with Payton re-taught me a skill I had lost nearly a decade previously- the ability to have carefree, unrestricted fun. My time with Payton was spent doing whatever she wanted to do: imagining made-up animals, playing Simon Says for hours, or creating the ball gown of our dreams with crayons and construction paper.  These imaginative activities gave me an advantage few teens had- I could express myself however I wanted to without having to worry about the judging eyes of my peers. I found myself beginning to emulate Payton’s unworried attitude. I began to live my life like I saw Payton living hers- becoming more expressive of my feelings, worrying less, and enjoying more. I discovered a fun-loving, untroubled part of me that I didn’t know existed.

Last spring, as I once again prepared to say goodbye to Payton for the summer, the little girl gave me a quick hug, and shouted her goodbye as she ran off to play with her friends. While I was a little hurt knowing she wasn’t attached to me like she once was, I was proud. Our purpose in each other’s lives has been fulfilled- I have helped Payton grow and mature, and she has helped me discover the world through the eyes of a child. In my absence, Payton will be able to completely test her newfound independence, and I will leave for college completely cognizant of who I am- a person who has learned to be true to herself, no matter what, all thanks to a little girl. 

I am so lucky to have Payton in my life. Every Wednesday evening I grow a little closer to her, and value her a little more. Today was no different. It's funny, I was assigned to Payton because she was a "high risk" child- that is, one who is growing up in a less-than-ideal situation, but Payton has been nothing but an angel for me. I really feel that I don't have much to help Payton with- instead, I let her help me. Payton is an ear for all my stories, someone to share my greatest hopes and fears with. I tell her about my perfect days, and about my girl drama. She listens to it all and loves me regardless. I wish I could accurately convey my love for this little girl in words, but it's much too powerful. I cherish every smile, every hug, and every game we play. 

Today we were watching a movie, and Payton snuggled up to me and put her head on my shoulder. That kind of affection from a 4th grader is so striking to me. While most 4th graders would run off and play with their friends, Payton focuses all her attention and love on me. And that is a really, really special gift. 

She's adorable, isn't she?

Now, I'm gonna leave with a letter of recommendation Payton wrote that I submitted to all the colleges I applied to. I've already had one personal phone call (from Sweet Briar) expressing how powerful it  was, and I have to say, I agree. 

Courtney is my Big Sister at the Boys and Girls Club. She’s been coming to spend time with me for three years, since I was in 1^st grade. Now Courtney and I have been Big Sister/Little Sister longer than anyone else at the Boys and Girls Club. The people who work here were so impressed with us that we got to be in an article in the newspaper last year! We might not be related, but Courtney’s the best sister I could ever imagine. Courtney has helped me a lot. She has helped me with all of my school work, even when I don’t want to do it. Whenever I am upset, Courtney talks to me about my problems and comforts me until I feel better. She gives the best hugs. Courtney always seems to be in the mood to be at the Boys and Girls Club, and makes everyone she’s around happy. Even though I’m sad that she’ll be going off to college next year, I know she’ll make people there happy just like she makes people here. I hope that when you guys are making your decision you realize how special Courtney is, to me and everyone else who knows her.

                -Payton Liffick, age 9